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Anger Management
The Nature of Anger
Bruce* is a
45-year-old professional person who suffers from anger management
problems. Bruce is married and has two children (a boy and a girl).
To the outside world, Bruce is a nice, decent person. He is a good
provider for his family. He cares about his wife and his two
children. He is hard working and tries to do what he believes to be
right. People at his church respect him and his neighbors think
highly of him. However, Bruce has a hot temper. He becomes a
“terror” when he gets angry and is wife and children are terrified
of him. He would get so angry that he loses control. He has said and
done things to his family that he feels guilty and ashamed about. He
is afraid if things continue the way they are he would one day lose
his family and everything he has worked for. Therefore he sought
professional help to understand and to better manage his anger.
Theresa* is
37-year-old, divorced, and the mother of an eleven-year-old girl.
She states, “My anger has caused me so much trouble in my life. I
used to think that other people are responsible for my anger. I
thought if everybody would just act right and treat me well I would
not have to be angry. When I got angry with people, I thought they
deserved it. Theresa is known for beating up her partners. When she
got angry, she would throw things, smash plates and slam doors. She
had holes in her living room and bedroom because she put her fist
into the walls when she got angry. She once got so angry and that
she threw hot water on her neighbor.
These are two examples of individuals who struggle with anger management
problems, otherwise known as Toxic Anger Syndrome. Individuals who
suffer from Toxic Anger Syndrome usually feel that anger has taken over
their lives. They lose control when they get angry. They say and do
things that inflict pain on others and themselves. They have not learned
effective coping tools to manage their angry emotions. Anger management
problems can lead to relationship problems, work problems, legal
problems, health issues, and emotional (shame and guilt) problems, etc.
Anger is a normal human emotion. Everyone experiences angry feelings
once in a while. Most people, however, know how to deal with their angry
emotions and can use them effectively. Those who know how to manage
their angry emotions recognize that anger is a signal that something is
wrong, but not the solution to the problem. Expressing oneself in
assertive ways is an effective tool to manage emotions. But in order to
do that, it is important to know what you need and how best to get your
needs met, without hurting others and/or yourself.
(*These are not the actual names of Summit clients, nor are these
necessarily examples of Summit clients)
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